Pyrrhus of Epirus vs Clovis

Narrator: Clovis, the vicious Frankish chieftain who united the Frankish tribes and gave birth to the Nation of France (Show clip of Clovis hurling a Fransisca into a Frankish soldier's head)

Pyrrhus of Epirus, the Greek mercenary king who fought battles that had such heavy losses for his side that he gave rise to the term Pyrrhic Victory (Show clip of Pyrrhus on the back of a War Elephant and trampling a Roman soldier)

Who... is.... DEADLIEST?

(Deadliest Warrior Theme)

Max: Today is a matchup i have waited to see for a long time. We are going to test out the weapons and tactics of two of the most famous generals in the history of Roman Era warfare: Pyrrhus of Epirus, at the start of the Roman Era, and Clovis, at the very end. Both of these generals, although separated by the European continental mass and a time period of 800 years, but they both are using steel and iron weapons. This is gonna kick major ass!

Clovis Stats: Height: 5 ft 8 inches
                    Weight: 177 lbs
                    Armor: Leather, Hides, Shield, Helmet, Chain Mail
                    Lived: 466-511 AD
                    Loyalty: Himself, Francia, Thurungian Franks

Pyyrhus Stats: Height: 5 ft 6 inches
                       Weight: 165 lbs
                       Armor: Musculata Cuirass, Illyrian Helmet, Aspis, Leather, Cape
                       Lived: 318-272 BC
                       Loyalty: Epirus, Money, Himself

Narrator: Testing out the weapons and tactics of Clovis are Jacques Devin, a French military historian, and Lance Bitters, a two time MMA champion

Jacques: Clovis was the man who, by strength of arms and a unique recruitment policy, created what we today call France.

Narrator: During the 6th century AD, after the Western Roman Empire had collapsed, the dominant barbarian tribe in the area that now comprises of Belgium, France, Holland, and Switzerland were the Franks. In 481 AD, Clovis, the 15 year old son of Childeric, came to the throne and began to expand his territories in all directions. Whenever he defeated an enemy tribe, Clovis recruited the men into his own army, and in effect created France by this method.

Lance: With a mind as brilliant and savage as Clovis', Pyrrhus is gonna be chopped to bits.

Narrator: Team Clovis believes that their warrior will chop his way to victory, but their opponents on Team Pyrrhus feel the same way. Fighting for the Greek mercenary king are Philip Dumas, a Greco-Roman combat specialist, and Jim Rutherford, a world renowned Pankration champion.

Jim: Pyrrhus will rip Clovis apart!

Narrator: Born in 318 BC, Pyrrhus of Epirus was the second cousin of Alexander the Great, and as such, felt compelled to live up to, if not exceed, his cousin's military reputation. Being a mercenary soldier, he was summoned to Magna Graecia, now Southern Italy, by the Greek Colonies of Naples and Tarentum to fight against the invading Romans. Bringing up to 25,000 troops, including twenty war elephants, he was so strong an opponent of Rome that he earned their grudging respect. Due to the nature of his victories, which almost broke his army, his name has become immortalized in the term Pyrrhic Victory.

Philip: Pyrrhus had better armor, more resolve, and is a much more focused fighter than Clovis. Clovis is gonna die!

                                                      Special Weapons
Clovis: Fransisca
Pyrrhus: War Elephant

Pyrrhus' War Elephant takes the Edge in this test because not only did the Fransisca fail to penetrate the War Elephant's armor, the smell of the Elephant also spooked the Frankish horses.

                                                      Long Range Weapons
Clovis: Javelin
Pyrrhus: Toxon Bow

The result is Even because both weapons were both rapidly fired and could penetrate armor.

                                                     Mid Range Weapons
Clovis: Spear
Pyrrhus: Sarissa

The superior length of the Sarissa gives the Edge to Pyrrhus of Epirus.

                                                    Short Range Weapons
Clovis: Spatha
Pyrrhus: Kopis

The double-edged blade and greater length of the Spatha give the Edge to Clovis.

Geoff: Hey Max, i think we've got all the data we can handle. Are you ready?

Max: I sure am.

Geoff: Then let's see who will win, Clovis or Pyrrhus of Epirus

Narrator: Because both Clovis and Pyrrhus of Epirus led massive armies, this will be a squad on squad battle, with Clovis and four Frankish warriors against Pyrrhus and four of his Greek mercenaries.

                                                     Simulation:
The rain drizzled down upon the heads of Clovis and four of his Frankish warriors as they trudge into the clearing, Clovis' horse trudging through the mud as they got out of the cover of the trees. As they were about to decide where to go next, a strange trumpeting sound filled the air. Looking up, Clovis was both frightened and bewildered at the troops approaching him from the top of a small hill. Leading the troops was Pyrrhus, clad in Greek armor, riding an armored War Elephant, while a single horseman rode alongside him. On the Elephant's back was a wooden tower that carried three other Greek mercenaries.

Upon catching sight of Clovis, Pyrrhus shouted "KILL THEM!" in Greek as Clovis ordered one of his infantrymen to run up to Pyrrhus' troops and hurl a Javelin at them. Upon seeing the approaching infantryman, Pyrrhus signaled to the troops in the tower behind him. The Frankish infantryman crashed to the ground with an arrow from one of the Greek's Toxons lodged in his chest. Clovis watched in horror as Pyrrhus spurred his elephant to barrel down the hill at Clovis and his troops, prompting Clovis  to charge his troops at the oncoming Greeks. As they charged, Clovis' horseman rushed Pyrrhus' War Elephant, but his horse began to whinny and thrash about in fear.

Fighting to regain control over his spooked horse, the Frankish horseman was able to throw his Javelin before getting bucked off. The Javelin hit one of the Greek mercenaries in the chest and he fell off of the tower and hit the ground. Attempting to get up, the last thing the horseman felt was the trunk of the War Elephant wrap about his legs, lift him up into the air, and kill him by dashing his brains out against a rock. As the War Elephant continued to barrel towards Clovis' troops, the Franks were amazed to see that their Javelins and Fransiscas were deflected by the lumbering pachyderm's armor.

Seeing the retreating Franks, Pyrrhus ordered his horseman to ride up and attack their flank. When the horseman caught up with the retreating Franks, he skewered one of the Frankish infantrymen with his Sarissa and was about to wheel back to Pyrrhus when he saw Clovis approaching him. The horseman drew out his Kopis and prepared to sword fight Clovis. The two of them clashed blades until Clovis plunged the Spatha into the horseman's neck.

Urging on his War Elephant, Pyrrhus and his remaining Greek mercenary continued to harass Clovis and his remaining Frankish soldier. Dismounting from the War Elephant, the Greek Mercenary shoved into the Frankish soldier, causing the latter to couch his Spear and look for a weak spot in the Greek's defenses. The two of them continued to circle each other as the Frank, totally occupied with the Greek in front of him, failed to notice Pyrrhus on his War Elephant come up behind him and shove a Sarissa into his back. The tip of the Sarissa ruptured out of the Frank's chest as Pyrrhus and the Greek mercenary nodded their heads to each other and turned to face Clovis.

Seeing that he was outnumbered two to one, Clovis gritted his teeth, hefted a Fransisca, and hurled it at Pyrrhus. Hunkering behind his Aspis, the Fransisca deflected off of Pyrrhus' shield, while the Greek mercenary tossed Pyrrhus a Sarissa. After being stabbed through the stomach by the Sarissa, Clovis screamed in agony and swung his Spatha at the Greek mercenary. The Greek tumbled to the ground as Pyrrhus dismounted the War Elephant, unsheathed his Kopis, and began to size up Clovis, who had also dismounted.

The two leaders continued to circle each other, their eyes full of hatred until Clovis lunged at Pyrrhus. Instead of his Spatha rupturing flesh, however, Clovis was surprised to see it deflect off of Pyrrhus' musculata cuirass before Pyrrhus returned the favor. A strangled gasp escaped Clovis' throat as the Kopis ruptured through his chest and poked out of his back. Pulling out the Kopis, Pyrrhus watched with apathy as his Frankish opponent fell to the ground, the rain spreading the blood across the grass around where he fell. After finding a substantial amount of gold pieces in a pouch on Clovis' robe, Pyrrhus merely smirked at his dead foe and then approached each of his dead soldiers and placed a gold coin under their tongues.

Winner: Pyrrhus of Epirus

Max: Pyrrhus had his way with Clovis during this round. Clovis only had 320 kills as opposed to Pyrrhus' 680 kills. Pyrrhus' superior special and mid-range weapons shifted the match in his favor, along with a superior set of armor to defend himself against Clovis. To be honest, this match was pretty much throwing kittens into a den of rabid hyenas!

Geoff: I have to agree with Max here. I was the most surprised at how ineffective Clovis' weapons were against Pyrrhus' War Elephant and armor.

Lance: This was total crap! Clovis was much more technologically advanced than Pyrrhus and could easily destroy him in real life.

Philip: Quit crying about the result! If anything, this matchup proved why Pyrrhus of Epirus ranks among the most deadly of Rome's enemies.

(Show clip of Pyrrhus, clad in his war gear, gazing off into the distance)

              

        

Belisarius vs El Cid

Narrator: Belisarius, the brilliant Byzantine general who re-conquered the former territories of the Western Roman Empire ( Show clip of Belisarius galloping past a Sassanid cavalryman and planting a Kontos in his chest)

El Cid, the Spanish nobleman who began the Reconquista of Christian Spain against the Muslim Moors during the 11th century (Show clip of El Cid slashing a Moor's throat with Tizona)

Who... is... DEADLIEST?

(Deadliest Warrior theme)

Max: Today we feature two of the most brilliant generals to have existed during the European Dark Ages, El Cid and Belisarius. Although located on opposite ends of the European continent and separated by around 500 years, both are equipped with weaponry somewhat similar to each other. Either way, this is gonna be an interesting match-up of East vs. West, and pitting two of the most brilliant minds of the time against one another. THIS IS GONNA KICK ASS!

Belisarius Stats: Height: 5 foot 5 inches
                          Weight: 165 lbs
                          Armor: Chain Mail, Scale Mail, Shield, Leather, Padded Cloth, Helmet, Cape
                          Lived: 500-565 AD
                          Loyalty: Byzantine Empire

El Cid Stats:     Height: 5 foot 5 inches
                         Weight: 158 lbs
                         Armor: Leather, Chain Mail, Helmet, Shield, Cape
                         Lived: 1043-1099 AD
                         Loyalty: Castille, Valencia, Himself, Money

Narrator: Testing out the weapons of Belisarius are Jason Sporakis, a Greek and Byzantine weapons historian, and Alexandros Kosta, a Greek equestrian weapons expert from Thessaly.

Jason: When the Eastern Roman Emperor Justianian wanted to re-conquer the lands that formerly belonged to the Western Roman Empire, he felt that the only man competent enough to do it was his trusted general Belisarius

Narrator: Starting in 533 AD, Belisarius led the Byzantine Army's campaigns against the Vandal Kingdom in North Africa, followed by him fighting his way up the Italian Peninsula and conquering the Ostrogoths in 544 AD. His brilliant mind and steely resolve allowed him to conquer any enemy he encountered, even enemies as powerful as the Sassanid Persian Empire.

Alexandros: I'd like to see El Cid try to measure up to the sheer brilliance of Belisarius!

Narrator: Confidence is strong with Team Belisarius, but the same lust for victory is felt by their rivals on Team El Cid. Fighting for the Cid is Roberto Diaz, a sword and shield master from Madrid, along with Javier Sanchez, a mixed martial artist from Toledo.

Javier: El Cid was the man first responsible for the Reconquista of Southern Spain from the Moors during the 11th century.

Narrator: Meaning "Lord" in Arabic, El Cid was a title given to the Christian Spanish soldier and adventurer Rodrigo Diaz. After being wrongfully exiled from Castille by a paranoid King Alfonso, El Cid began to fight as a mercenary for lords wishing to oust the Moors from their territories before he conquered the city of Valencia for himself. By mixing both Christians and Moors into his army, El Cid was able to create a tactically superior army over the Moors and rival Spanish princes.

Roberto: Belisarius is outdated and he is clumsy. El Cid will slice him to bits!

                                               Short Range Weapons Test
Belisarius: Axe
El Cid: Tizona

The Edge goes to El Cid and Tizona because Tizona had greater puncturing power and length over the Axe.

                                              Mid Range Weapons Test
Belisarius: Kontos
El Cid: Lance

Belisarius' Kontos takes the Edge here due to its superior length and ability to punch through El Cid's armor.

                                              Long Range Weapons
Belisarius: Composite Bow
El Cid: Crossbow

Belisarius' Composite Bow takes the Edge for its rapid rate of fire over the Crossbow, as well as the failure of the Crossbow to puncture Belisarius' armor.

                                              Special Weapons
Belisarius: Spatha
El Cid: Colada

The result is Even because both weapons achieved the same result.

                                               Battle Tactics

Jason: During the Battle of Carthage, Belisarius used his Hunnic horse archer mercenaries to bolster his cavalry as they smashed into the rear of the Vandal lines, while his infantry and archers attacked the Vandals trying to escape from the Byzantine Cavalry. I call this strategy Confuse and Destroy.

Roberto: El Cid's battle merit shows best in the Battle of Cabra. During the Battle, El Cid swept to the right of the army of Granada, while his allies from the Taifa of Seville swept to the left, driving the army of Granada towards the forces of his ally, Garcia Ordonez, who forced them back towards El Cid's forces. I call this strategy the Pincer of Death.

The Edge goes to the strategy of Confuse and Destroy, because the Pincer of Death almost failed for El Cid.

Geoff: Max, i think we've got all the data that we can handle for this situation. Are you ready for a bloodbath?

Max: I sure as hell am. Time to see who's deadlier, Belisarius or El Cid!

Narrator: Because both Belisarius and El Cid led massive armies, this will be a squad on squad battle, with El Cid and four of his soldiers against Belisarius and four of his Byzantine Legions.

                                                                   Simulation:
The wind blew off of the sea as El Cid and four of his soldiers, two Christian knights and two Moorish soldiers, rode along with him, their banners flapping in the breeze. As they crossed over a sand dune, they failed to notice the arrival of a squad of four Byzantines, two Legionaries and two Horse Archers, led by Belisarius. Seeing El Cid's troops, Belisarius signaled to his two Horse Archers, who galloped two the left of Belisarius, who then gripped his Kontos in his right hand, and charged at El Cid, followed by his two Legionaries. The Kontos ripped through one of El Cid's Moorish soldiers as Belisarius wheeled his horse around, hefted his axe, and charged again for another kill.

Meanwhile, the surviving Moor had engaged one of Belisarius' Legionaries in battle, the Moor's Lance dancing about in the air as the Legionary tried to get in for a stab with the Spatha. The Legionary  threw himself at the Moor in hopes of killing him, but he fell to the ground dead with the Moor's Lance thrust in his neck. As the battle raged, Belisarius' two Horse Archers smashed into El Cid's left Flank, their arrows killing the Moor with the Lance and striking El Cid in the thigh. Howling with pain, El Cid yanked out the arrow and signaled for his one of his Christian knights to pursue the Horse Archers as they wheeled about for another attack.

Loading up his Crossbow, the Christian Knight aimed at the returning Horse Archers and fired, the Crossbow bolt burying itself in the first Horse Archer's chest and he fell lifelessly to the ground. Hearing a blood curdling shout behind him, the Christian Knight turned to see the Legionary barrel into him and send him sprawling to the ground. Before the Christian Knight could attempt to defend himself, he was stabbed in the chest by the Legionary's Kontos. As the Knight collapsed into the dust, the Legionary grabbed his Axe and swung at the remaining Christian Knight.

The Axe split the Knight's wooden shield in half and managed to mutilate his arm, enraging the Knight to a point that he kicked the Legionary in the chest and hurled his Lance at the stunned man. As the Knight retrieved his Lance, he heard the thud of hooves and high pitched whooping. Looking up, he only had time to barely recognize the other Horse Archer before an arrow was shot into his throat. The Knight's corpse fell into the dust as the Horse Archer galloped away, followed by El Cid.

Unsheathing Colada, El Cid rode up behind the Horse Archer and buried it up to its hilt in the Horse Archer's skull. Unable to retrieve Colada due to the depth of its penetration into the Horse Archer, El Cid wheeled around, unsheathed Tizona, and charged at Belisarius. Belisarius quickly grabbed his Kontos from the dead Moor and charged at El Cid, the Kontos' head stabbing into El Cid's side. Cursing in pain, El Cid yanked out the Kontos and charged at Belisarius again. Belisarius unsheathed his Spatha and crashed into El Cid, the force of the impact dismounting both men and sending them crashing into the beach below. Getting up, both of them gripped their shields and respective swords and began to jab, thrust, and slash at each other.

As they continued to fight, Belisarius smashed his shield into El Cid's face, stunning the Spanish adventurer briefly but giving Belisarius time enough to get in the fateful thrust. Blood splashed onto the ground, Belisarius' face, and the Spatha's blade before El Cid's corpse crashed to the ground. Upon seeing that El Cid was indeed dead, Belisarius howled "ROMA VICTOR!" before cleaning off his Spatha, re-sheathing it, remounting his horse, and galloping away from the battlefield.

Winner: Belisarius

Max: Belisarius took the victory with 570 kills while El Cid claimed only 430 kills. This is mainly due to Belisarius' insane amount of armor, as well as the long reach of the Composite Bow and the Kontos. That said, El Cid's Short Range Weapon took the most kills out of all the weapons in the simulation. All in all, if there was one person who would be a match for Belisarius, it would have to be El Cid!

Javier: This is loco! El Cid is a more modern and advanced warrior than Belisarius. Also, this was just a simulation in a computer. In real life, the story would have been MUCH different!

Angelo: Of course Belisarius won. He was a top notch general famed for his ruthlessness and fighting prowess. What were you gonna expect? He IS the definition of Deadliest Warrior!

(Cut to scene of Belisarius, all of his war gear on him and gripping a Kontos in his hand, galloping along the beach during sunset)