Narrator: A Teuton, the savage Germanic tribesman who slaughtered enemies using the most simple of weapons. (Cut to a scene of a Teuton debraining a Roman with a Broadaxe)
An Akkadian, the Mesopotamian warrior who created the world's first empire. (Cut to a scene of an Akkadian shooting an oncoming enemy with an arrow)
Who...is...DEADLIEST?
Geoff: Today is an especially interesting matchup between two of the most primitive warriors in history, the Akkadian and the Teuton.
Teuton Stats: Height: 5 foot 10 inches
Akkadian Stats: Height: 5 foot 2 inches
Teuton Weapons: Long Range: The Sling: A piece of cloth that could propel a stone with enough power to kill aman
Akkadian Weapons: Long Range: The Bow: The Akkadian Bow was strong enough to puncture the leather armor worn by the Mesopotamians.
Narrator: Fighting for the Teuton are Hannibal Johnson, an expert in Ancient Germanic warfare, and Ambrose LaFontaine, a sword and shield champion.
Ambrose: The Teutons were a Germanic tribe that fought, and won, against the Romans with such ferocity that the Romans pulled out of Germany and across the Rhine.
Narrator: During the reign of the Roman emperor Augustus Caesar, the Teutonic tribes in what is now Germany pulled off one of the greatest victories against the Romans at the Ambush in Teutoburg Forest. Trapping the Romans between a marsh and a high mountain covered in thick forests, the Teutons killed all but 300 Roman Legionaries using the terrain, their guerilla tactics, and primitive weapons against the clumsy and panicking Legions.
Hannibal: It's gonna be hard for the Akkadian to stand toe to toe with the Teuton. We're gonna kill them and then nail their heads to a tree or slit their throats before throwing them in a bog or pond as a sacrifice to the gods.
Narrator: Team Teuton can taste victory, but so do their rivals on Team Akkadian. Fighting for Team Akkadian are David Scott, an expert on the Akkadians, and Abdullah al-Salah, a descendant of Akkadian chiefs.
David: The Akkadians would have been nothing without the brilliant leadership of Sargon the Great.
Narrator: The Akkadian Empire of the second millennium BC stretched from the Persian Gulf to the Mediterranean coasts of Syria. Created by the military genius Sargon of Akkad, the Akkadians were able to control most of the Northern Fertile Crescent for 175 years unti their demise at the hands of Elam and Babylonia.
Abdullah: The Akkadian will destroy the Teuton with his arrows and his sword skills
Teuton: Single-Edged Sword
Akkadian: Mace
The Mace takes the Edge here because of its ability to splinter the Teuton's Shield and break his bones.
Teuton: Ger
Akkadian: Spear
The Ger takes the Edge here because of its flexibility, its superior iron head, and its ability to squarely punch through the Akkadian leather armor.
Long Range Weapons
Teuton: Sling
Akkadian: Akkadian Bow
The Akkadian Bow receives the Edge over the Sling because the Sling is a generally inaccurate weapon.
Special Weapons:
Teuton: Broadaxe
Akkadian: Dagger
The Teuton's Broadaxe takes the Edge not only for its longer reach and higher killing power, but its ability to go through the Akkadian leather.
Max: I got all the data. Let's run this puppy and find out which one of these overlooked warriors is the Deadliest?
Geoff: Max, I couldn't agree more. Fire it up!
The sun was rising as the grasses whispered in the morning breeze. Walking through the grasses was an Akkadian with all his weapons in battle order, and on his left arm was slung his shield, while his Spear was gripped in his right. Hiding in the shadows of the forest, a Teuton, clad in a Leather Gut-Belt, a Loincloth, a bear-hide, and carrying a wooden shield slunk through the shadows until he saw the Akkadian walking through the field. Hiding behind a large oak tree, the Teuton loaded a stone onto his Sling, and began to whirl it rapidly untilhe sent the stone flying. It flew through the air until it hit the Akkadian's shoulder, prompting the Akkadian to turn around and receive another sling shot to the stomach. Wincing in pain, the Akkadian looked up and saw the Teuton charging at him and roaring like an enraged bear. Without a moment to lose the Akkadian fitted an arrow to his Bow and fired it at the oncoming Teuton, but instead of hitting him the arrow imbedded in the surface of the Teuton's shield. The Teuton continued his mad rush as the Akkadian fired another arrow, and smiled when he saw it puncture the Teuton's thigh. Howling with rage, the Teuton ripped out the arrow, and then rubbed his own blood on his face, making him more enraged than before as he lifted up