Narrator: Clovis, the vicious Frankish chieftain who united the Frankish tribes and gave birth to the Nation of France (Show clip of Clovis hurling a Fransisca into a Frankish soldier's head)
Pyrrhus of Epirus, the Greek mercenary king who fought battles that had such heavy losses for his side that he gave rise to the term Pyrrhic Victory (Show clip of Pyrrhus on the back of a War Elephant and trampling a Roman soldier)
Who... is.... DEADLIEST?
(Deadliest Warrior Theme)
Max: Today is a matchup i have waited to see for a long time. We are going to test out the weapons and tactics of two of the most famous generals in the history of Roman Era warfare: Pyrrhus of Epirus, at the start of the Roman Era, and Clovis, at the very end. Both of these generals, although separated by the European continental mass and a time period of 800 years, but they both are using steel and iron weapons. This is gonna kick major ass!
Clovis Stats: Height: 5 ft 8 inches
Weight: 177 lbs
Armor: Leather, Hides, Shield, Helmet, Chain Mail
Lived: 466-511 AD
Loyalty: Himself, Francia, Thurungian Franks
Pyyrhus Stats: Height: 5 ft 6 inches
Weight: 165 lbs
Armor: Musculata Cuirass, Illyrian Helmet, Aspis, Leather, Cape
Lived: 318-272 BC
Loyalty: Epirus, Money, Himself
Narrator: Testing out the weapons and tactics of Clovis are Jacques Devin, a French military historian, and Lance Bitters, a two time MMA champion
Jacques: Clovis was the man who, by strength of arms and a unique recruitment policy, created what we today call France.
Narrator: During the 6th century AD, after the Western Roman Empire had collapsed, the dominant barbarian tribe in the area that now comprises of Belgium, France, Holland, and Switzerland were the Franks. In 481 AD, Clovis, the 15 year old son of Childeric, came to the throne and began to expand his territories in all directions. Whenever he defeated an enemy tribe, Clovis recruited the men into his own army, and in effect created France by this method.
Lance: With a mind as brilliant and savage as Clovis', Pyrrhus is gonna be chopped to bits.
Narrator: Team Clovis believes that their warrior will chop his way to victory, but their opponents on Team Pyrrhus feel the same way. Fighting for the Greek mercenary king are Philip Dumas, a Greco-Roman combat specialist, and Jim Rutherford, a world renowned Pankration champion.
Jim: Pyrrhus will rip Clovis apart!
Narrator: Born in 318 BC, Pyrrhus of Epirus was the second cousin of Alexander the Great, and as such, felt compelled to live up to, if not exceed, his cousin's military reputation. Being a mercenary soldier, he was summoned to Magna Graecia, now Southern Italy, by the Greek Colonies of Naples and Tarentum to fight against the invading Romans. Bringing up to 25,000 troops, including twenty war elephants, he was so strong an opponent of Rome that he earned their grudging respect. Due to the nature of his victories, which almost broke his army, his name has become immortalized in the term Pyrrhic Victory.
Philip: Pyrrhus had better armor, more resolve, and is a much more focused fighter than Clovis. Clovis is gonna die!
Special Weapons
Clovis: Fransisca
Pyrrhus: War Elephant
Pyrrhus' War Elephant takes the Edge in this test because not only did the Fransisca fail to penetrate the War Elephant's armor, the smell of the Elephant also spooked the Frankish horses.
Long Range Weapons
Clovis: Javelin
Pyrrhus: Toxon Bow
The result is Even because both weapons were both rapidly fired and could penetrate armor.
Mid Range Weapons
Clovis: Spear
Pyrrhus: Sarissa
The superior length of the Sarissa gives the Edge to Pyrrhus of Epirus.
Short Range Weapons
Clovis: Spatha
Pyrrhus: Kopis
The double-edged blade and greater length of the Spatha give the Edge to Clovis.
Geoff: Hey Max, i think we've got all the data we can handle. Are you ready?
Max: I sure am.
Geoff: Then let's see who will win, Clovis or Pyrrhus of Epirus
Narrator: Because both Clovis and Pyrrhus of Epirus led massive armies, this will be a squad on squad battle, with Clovis and four Frankish warriors against Pyrrhus and four of his Greek mercenaries.
Simulation:
The rain drizzled down upon the heads of Clovis and four of his Frankish warriors as they trudge into the clearing, Clovis' horse trudging through the mud as they got out of the cover of the trees. As they were about to decide where to go next, a strange trumpeting sound filled the air. Looking up, Clovis was both frightened and bewildered at the troops approaching him from the top of a small hill. Leading the troops was Pyrrhus, clad in Greek armor, riding an armored War Elephant, while a single horseman rode alongside him. On the Elephant's back was a wooden tower that carried three other Greek mercenaries.
Upon catching sight of Clovis, Pyrrhus shouted "KILL THEM!" in Greek as Clovis ordered one of his infantrymen to run up to Pyrrhus' troops and hurl a Javelin at them. Upon seeing the approaching infantryman, Pyrrhus signaled to the troops in the tower behind him. The Frankish infantryman crashed to the ground with an arrow from one of the Greek's Toxons lodged in his chest. Clovis watched in horror as Pyrrhus spurred his elephant to barrel down the hill at Clovis and his troops, prompting Clovis to charge his troops at the oncoming Greeks. As they charged, Clovis' horseman rushed Pyrrhus' War Elephant, but his horse began to whinny and thrash about in fear.
Fighting to regain control over his spooked horse, the Frankish horseman was able to throw his Javelin before getting bucked off. The Javelin hit one of the Greek mercenaries in the chest and he fell off of the tower and hit the ground. Attempting to get up, the last thing the horseman felt was the trunk of the War Elephant wrap about his legs, lift him up into the air, and kill him by dashing his brains out against a rock. As the War Elephant continued to barrel towards Clovis' troops, the Franks were amazed to see that their Javelins and Fransiscas were deflected by the lumbering pachyderm's armor.
Seeing the retreating Franks, Pyrrhus ordered his horseman to ride up and attack their flank. When the horseman caught up with the retreating Franks, he skewered one of the Frankish infantrymen with his Sarissa and was about to wheel back to Pyrrhus when he saw Clovis approaching him. The horseman drew out his Kopis and prepared to sword fight Clovis. The two of them clashed blades until Clovis plunged the Spatha into the horseman's neck.
Urging on his War Elephant, Pyrrhus and his remaining Greek mercenary continued to harass Clovis and his remaining Frankish soldier. Dismounting from the War Elephant, the Greek Mercenary shoved into the Frankish soldier, causing the latter to couch his Spear and look for a weak spot in the Greek's defenses. The two of them continued to circle each other as the Frank, totally occupied with the Greek in front of him, failed to notice Pyrrhus on his War Elephant come up behind him and shove a Sarissa into his back. The tip of the Sarissa ruptured out of the Frank's chest as Pyrrhus and the Greek mercenary nodded their heads to each other and turned to face Clovis.
Seeing that he was outnumbered two to one, Clovis gritted his teeth, hefted a Fransisca, and hurled it at Pyrrhus. Hunkering behind his Aspis, the Fransisca deflected off of Pyrrhus' shield, while the Greek mercenary tossed Pyrrhus a Sarissa. After being stabbed through the stomach by the Sarissa, Clovis screamed in agony and swung his Spatha at the Greek mercenary. The Greek tumbled to the ground as Pyrrhus dismounted the War Elephant, unsheathed his Kopis, and began to size up Clovis, who had also dismounted.
The two leaders continued to circle each other, their eyes full of hatred until Clovis lunged at Pyrrhus. Instead of his Spatha rupturing flesh, however, Clovis was surprised to see it deflect off of Pyrrhus' musculata cuirass before Pyrrhus returned the favor. A strangled gasp escaped Clovis' throat as the Kopis ruptured through his chest and poked out of his back. Pulling out the Kopis, Pyrrhus watched with apathy as his Frankish opponent fell to the ground, the rain spreading the blood across the grass around where he fell. After finding a substantial amount of gold pieces in a pouch on Clovis' robe, Pyrrhus merely smirked at his dead foe and then approached each of his dead soldiers and placed a gold coin under their tongues.
Winner: Pyrrhus of Epirus
Max: Pyrrhus had his way with Clovis during this round. Clovis only had 320 kills as opposed to Pyrrhus' 680 kills. Pyrrhus' superior special and mid-range weapons shifted the match in his favor, along with a superior set of armor to defend himself against Clovis. To be honest, this match was pretty much throwing kittens into a den of rabid hyenas!
Geoff: I have to agree with Max here. I was the most surprised at how ineffective Clovis' weapons were against Pyrrhus' War Elephant and armor.
Lance: This was total crap! Clovis was much more technologically advanced than Pyrrhus and could easily destroy him in real life.
Philip: Quit crying about the result! If anything, this matchup proved why Pyrrhus of Epirus ranks among the most deadly of Rome's enemies.
(Show clip of Pyrrhus, clad in his war gear, gazing off into the distance)
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